Losing Your Family in Church Revitalization - Don't Do it!
Sep 05, 2022
You don’t have to be a pastor to deploy these significant actions to fight the depression that may arise in your kids. However, you’re the new pastor on this new revitalization journey, but no one else is; especially your kids. In this new adventure, you may forget you are a husband and a father with young children. Before you can revitalize a church, you have to revive your children, and sometimes in the process depression sets in because the task begins to take their father away from the house and the children begin to feel second and fatherless.
For every pastor’s home that has been blessed with children, the following 10 actions can serve as a guide to keep your kids vital in the revitalization.
For every pastor’s home that has been blessed with children, the following 10 actions can serve as a guide to keep your kids vital in the revitalization.
1. Show them love and affection daily.
Children are known statistically to fall into depression when there is a lack of respect and tenderness in the home. A child’s emotional need for love matches their physical need for daily food. Make sure you pray, hug, and kiss your children every day and let them know you are there and dialogue about their day, fears, and joys.
Children are known statistically to fall into depression when there is a lack of respect and tenderness in the home. A child’s emotional need for love matches their physical need for daily food. Make sure you pray, hug, and kiss your children every day and let them know you are there and dialogue about their day, fears, and joys.
2. Show them acceptance.
Your children will bring you challenges in their individuality, but remember, accept them through it. Do not worry about what the church thinks of them. You must receive them and love them no matter what. You are their daddy, warrior, and hero, not the church.
Your children will bring you challenges in their individuality, but remember, accept them through it. Do not worry about what the church thinks of them. You must receive them and love them no matter what. You are their daddy, warrior, and hero, not the church.
3. Show them joy over anger.
Your biggest struggle is not to bring anger home from something that happened at the church. At the end of the day, you want your children to love Jesus and his church. Make sure you are ok when you come home. Chances are they had not seen you all day and need to see their father as the joyful man you were before ministry began.
Your biggest struggle is not to bring anger home from something that happened at the church. At the end of the day, you want your children to love Jesus and his church. Make sure you are ok when you come home. Chances are they had not seen you all day and need to see their father as the joyful man you were before ministry began.
4. Show them you love their mommy.
Children need to see their parents show affection. Yes, they will say “gross” and “ill,” but at the end of the day, they will learn and model what a thriving relationship looks like and how much their parents love one another, which brings them security in the home.
Children need to see their parents show affection. Yes, they will say “gross” and “ill,” but at the end of the day, they will learn and model what a thriving relationship looks like and how much their parents love one another, which brings them security in the home.
5. Show them rules and responsibility.
Children must learn that their home is a family team effort and that we all work as a team to make our house awesome. Chores and responsibility build a strong work ethic with rewards. Sweat and hard work build excellent character and leadership.
Children must learn that their home is a family team effort and that we all work as a team to make our house awesome. Chores and responsibility build a strong work ethic with rewards. Sweat and hard work build excellent character and leadership.
6. Show them discipline.
Parents who do not have a strong relationship with their children end up making rules which lead to rebellion. Be clear on the front end and explain the consequences, so there are no surprises.
Parents who do not have a strong relationship with their children end up making rules which lead to rebellion. Be clear on the front end and explain the consequences, so there are no surprises.
7. Show them consistency.
Children need consistency, not instability. When they are younger, they need a schedule, when they are teenagers, they need a home base for safety. Make sure you follow through with what you say will happen and do not make excuses. Give them something to look forward to in the calendar year.
Children need consistency, not instability. When they are younger, they need a schedule, when they are teenagers, they need a home base for safety. Make sure you follow through with what you say will happen and do not make excuses. Give them something to look forward to in the calendar year.
8. Show them God’s love as early as possible.
As soon as you can, communicate the love of Jesus to them and let them know that Jesus loves them more than you could ever love them and that He is going to use them in significant ways if they give their heart to Him. This can be your chance to lead them to Jesus.
As soon as you can, communicate the love of Jesus to them and let them know that Jesus loves them more than you could ever love them and that He is going to use them in significant ways if they give their heart to Him. This can be your chance to lead them to Jesus.
9. Show them positivity and guard against negativity.
The world is harsh, so make sure that your children have positive experiences in their church and in their home. The world is hard enough, and people can be cruel. Do whatever you can to guard their hearts against negative people and situations so that they do not bear the brunt of miserable people.
The world is harsh, so make sure that your children have positive experiences in their church and in their home. The world is hard enough, and people can be cruel. Do whatever you can to guard their hearts against negative people and situations so that they do not bear the brunt of miserable people.
10. Cheat the church.
Andy Stanley authored a book years ago that challenged pastors to spend more time with family than the church. When you get to the end of the ministry, the church will move on, but your family will not. Love them and cherish every moment, spend the time needed, and let things roll off your back. God will take care of His church, but you must take care of your kids.
Andy Stanley authored a book years ago that challenged pastors to spend more time with family than the church. When you get to the end of the ministry, the church will move on, but your family will not. Love them and cherish every moment, spend the time needed, and let things roll off your back. God will take care of His church, but you must take care of your kids.
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